severance

Sunset on Lamb

I found myself at the strangest of crossroads beginning of this year.

Past and present slowly joined hands, intertwining threads reminding me of my humanity.

A conversation I’ve held before, but different this time: Tender and without guilt. Soft love I seldom give myself.

Severance would come soon.

Pain set in, but different this time: refined, with less uncertainty. Inevitable, as the only way out is through.

I have been here before and the air whipped at my back with promises, promises, promises. My tail swats back in defiance, swirling dust and dissonance, a dance of twins and toro.

This time I find myself in a pool of love, floating on water, refusing to drown me. Flowing down into cracks, solidifying me again. There is water all around.

If you know me, you’ve come to know my sentimental nature.

“It’s always the thought that counts.” Mine slid relentlessly back and forth on that mental abacus: adding worries, subtracting reason, multiplying possibilities, dividing the future.

Tick-tock, tick-tock. Can you hear those beads clicking in and out of neurons?

Severance would come soon.

And if nothing else, I am better off for it.

Lavender on Lamb